(Al Dia – 2/9/09)
Por RICHARD ABSHIRE

Muchas veces la violencia doméstica empieza a edad temprana, y las personas de 16 a 24 años están en la etapa de mayor riesgo, afirman expertos que están trabajando para difundir este mensaje entre las posibles víctimas durante la Semana de Prevención y Concientización Contra la Violencia en el Noviazgo Adolescente.

“La violencia entre parejas desgraciadamente es muy común, y ciertos ‘focos rojos’ son vistos con normalidad en nuestra sociedad”, dijo Becky George, coordinadora de información del New Beginning Center en Garland.

George dijo que el centro, dedicado a atender a víctimas de violencia doméstica de Garland, Mesquite y el condado de Rockwall, dio orientación a más de 8,300 adolescentes entre septiembre del 2007 y agosto del 2008.

Aunque no se tienen a disposición cifras exactas, es cierto que muchas víctimas adolescentes acuden al centro en busca de ayuda.

“Todos los días vienen jovencitos (a New Beginning) a pedir consejos sobre qué hacer respecto a una situación nociva, ya se trate de un novio agresivo o una novia celosa”, explicó George.

Los adolescentes y adultos jóvenes con frecuencia piensan que los celos, por ejemplo, son una muestra de amor, dice George, cuando en realidad son un signo de advertencia de una relación potencialmente abusiva.

Otros ‘focos rojos’: llamar por teléfono o enviar mensajes de texto en exceso; vigilar llamadas y mensajes de correo electrónico; aparecer por sorpresa; decirle al otro qué hacer o vestir; avergonzar públicamente a la pareja; acusaciones frecuentes de engaño y coqueteo; y amenazar con suicidio o daño a sí mismo en caso de rompimiento.

“La percepción que tienen los adolescentes de lo que es una relación sana es determinada por lo que ven en casa, en los medios de comunicación y en sus círculos de amistades, y puede ser muy perjudicial en su propia vida si sus padres viven una relación de abuso”, explicó George.

De acuerdo con el Consejo para la Violencia Familiar de Texas, el 75 por ciento de los texanos de entre 16 y 24 años encuestados dijo haber experimentado violencia en el noviazgo o conocer a alguien que la haya padecido.

Abshire escribe para
The Dallas Morning News.
View Article here

(The 33 News – 2/9/09)

Norris Deajon, The 33 News

February 9, 2009

“This is someone who said I’ll never lay a hand on a girl. You know you’ll hear guys say that.”

A 23-year-old woman who asked to remain anonymous told us that’s what her former boyfriend told her two years ago. Then he started abusing her. She has the scars to prove it.

“He was throwing me on the ground. At one point he held me up on the wall by the throat. I got thrown out of a car. I had a black eye for about a week.”

The victim says fear kept her from leaving the abuse for months. Experts say dating violence is very common among today’s teens and young adults. According to a United Nations study, one in five high school girls reports being physically or sexually abused by someone they were dating.

It’s an issue state officials are concerned about. Two years ago they passed House Bill 121 which makes lessons about dating violence mandatory in Texas’ public high schools.

“An abuser is someone who is very capable of killing someone.”

That’s what teen counselor Sherene Abraham of the New Beginning Center tells kids when she talks with them in North Texas high schools. Abraham says some warning signs that a partner could become an abuser are jealousy, anger, and alcohol or drug abuse. She says controlling behavior is one of the most common signs these days.

Abraham said, ” Such as going through their cellphones and checking their text messages, going through who’s on their contact list, looking at their pictures that they’ve taken, going on their Myspace page and trying to control who’s on their top friends.”

Abraham tells teens if someone is abusing them it’s not their fault. It took the victim we spoke to months to realize that. She said after going through it she knows you have to get out and get help.

View Video Here!

(Dallas Morning News – 2/9/09)

12:00 AM CST on Monday, February 9, 2009
By RICHARD ABSHIRE / The Dallas Morning News
rabshire@dallasnews.com

Domestic violence often starts early, and teens and young adults ages 16 to 24 are at the highest risk of their lives, according to experts working to get that message out during Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week.
“Dating violence is something that is unfortunately very common, and certain red flags are considered normal in our society,” said Becky George, education coordinator at the New Beginning Center in Garland.
George said the center, which serves domestic violence victims from Garland, Mesquite and Rockwall County, offered education programs to more than 8,300 teenagers from September 2007 through August 2008.
Many teenage victims turn to the center for help.
“Daily, students come up to [New Beginning] educators to ask for advice on what to do about an unhealthy situation, whether that’s a pushy boyfriend or jealous girlfriend,” George said.

Jealousy not love

Teenagers and young adults sometimes think jealousy, for instance, is a way of showing love, George said.
It’s actually one of the warning signs of a potentially abusive relationship.
Other red flags: excessive text-messaging or calling; monitoring calls and e-mails; frequently showing up unannounced; telling the other person what to do and wear; publicly embarrassing the other; frequent accusations of “cheating” or flirting; keeping the other from doing things they enjoy; and threats of suicide or self-injury in the event of a breakup.
“Teens’ views on healthy relationships are based on what they see at home, in the media and with peers, which can be very detrimental to their own lives if their parents are in an abusive relationship,” George said.

Violence common

According to the Texas Council on Family Violence, 75 percent of Texans ages 16 to 24 who were surveyed reported experiencing dating violence or knowing someone who had.
Dating violence includes physical, verbal or emotional coercion or abuse, according to the council.
Teen victims often report being followed; being prevented from going to school; being pushed, hit and threatened; and being pressured for sex.
Education aimed at teaching high school students about healthy relationships is the major component of Texas’ Teen Dating Violence Awareness and Prevention Week, held the first week in February for the last four years.
In 2007, Gov. Rick Perry signed House Bill 121, which requires every school district in the state to implement a dating violence policy that includes training and education for students, faculty, staff and parents.
“The district has established programs to meet the mandates of House Bill 121,” said Ruby Armstrong, guidance and counseling director for the Garland school district.
Armstrong said New Beginning Center conducts “age-appropriate education programs in all high and middle schools” in addition to the work of school counselors.
The administration “assumes the responsibility of protecting the students from harassment at school,” she said. “This week, the center is implementing a teen dating violence awareness campaign called ‘Xpose the Secrets of Teen Dating Violence,’ ” George said.
“In this campaign, 150 students are chosen to wear T-shirts. … [Some] say, ‘My Dating Partner Assaults Me’ and on the back, ‘One in four high school relationships are physically or sexually violent.’ ”
Other students wore T-shirts with the message “I am an abuser” on the front. The message on the back: “Wouldn’t it be nice if it was this easy to tell?”

Direct Link to Dallas Morning News Article